Raising Outdoor Kids: Three Simple Strategies That Work

 Three ways you can help your kids enjoy the outdoors

BY JUSTIN THAXTON

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will bring few re-grets, and life will become a beautiful success.” –Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

When I was a boy I took every opportunity to ride into town with my mom when she needed to go grocery shopping. In town, they had all the things a boy needed – comic books, toy aisles and even arcade games. In those days and in that town, it was no big deal to be dropped off at one store while your mom shopped elsewhere. It was 1980-something, the “golden age of arcade video games,” I played Pac-Man and Gauntlet and Spy Hunter until I ran out of quarters. Mom would finish her shopping, then we would head home and I wouldn’t play again until the next time we came to town.

I don’t play video games much these days. My sons, Caleb and Jake, have picked up where I left off. But it’s not quite the same. What was once a special treat enjoyed sporadically, has become something bordering on an obsession for my boys. As their father, my stress doesn’t come from defending some pixilated moon base, but from keeping Caleb and Jake from spending all their free time in front of the screen.

I could force my boys to stay outside, and honestly that happens now and then, but I would rather they be outside because they want to be and not, “Because I said so!” So, how can we as parents encourage our children to spend less time in the virtual world and more time in the real world?

My wife, Valerie, and I have honed-in on a few of the impetuses which have caught our sons’ attention and helped pull them away from their screens and monitors. Our boys were once very similar and now wildly different, so we’ve had to learn what the trigger is for each boy.

One interest they share however is camping. They’ll usually start talking about camping in February or March with Spring Break serving as the unofficial start of camping season. I look at photographs from some of these trips, and all I see are smiling faces. Recounting how the boys have behaved during our many camping trips, I believe, I have isolated the aspects of a campout that are the most appealing.

“…HOW CAN WE AS PARENTS ENCOURAGE OUR CHILDREN TO SPEND LESS TIME IN THE VIRTUAL WORLD AND MORE TIME IN THE REAL WORLD?”

The More the Merrier

I’ve loved camping since I was a youngster so I was excited to introduce my sons to this wonderful pastime. Both Caleb and Jake took to it at an early age and we’ve shared many campfires together. Traditionally, it was just the three of us but that has changed recently. Now that our boys are older, they want to spend more time with their peers.

Nowadays, the planning portion of each trip begins with, “We should invite Daniel and John.” Or, “We have to invite so-and-so… he’s never been camping!” We have embraced this change and see it as an opportunity to keep our sons engaged and outside. If camping is the cake, then the possibility of camping with buddies is the icing.

“…KEEPING FOUR, 10 TO 13-YEAR-OLD BOYS SAFE AND SOUND IN THE WOODS WITH HOMEMADE SPEARS AND AN OPEN FLAME IS A CHALLENGE. “THE MORE THE MERRIER” DOES IN FACT HAVE ITS LIMITS.”

This interest in camping with friends is exciting stuff, but it has its own challenges. Typically each boy is allowed to invite one friend to a campout. There are two reasons for this. First, if there are too many kids it seems like someone winds up feeling left out. And secondly, keeping four, 10 to 13-year-old boys safe and sound in the woods with homemade spears and an open flame is a challenge. “The more the merrier” does in fact have its limits.

If my boys are distracted by a new game or the latest episode of some Marvel pseudo-drama on Netflix, I might have to do a little persuading to get them to camp with me. If, however, there is even a hint that a buddy can come along, we’re good to go. Logistically and physically, it is without a doubt harder to camp with a bunch of kids—but with a bunch of kids it is easier to camp with my boys.

Working Hard at Work Worth Doing

Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” Now that they are nearly as tall as their old man, Caleb and Jake have tasks to complete around camp. They know the routine for camp setup so I make a few comments, then turn them loose. It is now their job to set up the tent and prepare our sleeping arrangements and light the fire. They take turns on fire duty, since it is the most desirable job in camp. They like the autonomy, and I appreciate the help.

When base camp is in order, I’ve noticed that the boys’ chests are puffed out a little. They’re proud of what they’ve done. I don’t bother telling them all this fun is actually building their confidence and teaching them responsibility. I’ve also noted that Caleb, being the older brother and more experienced camper, gives Jake instructions in a confident and kind manner at these times. Jake, who usually doesn’t appreciate his big brother “bossing him around”, follows Caleb’s lead without complaint. The collective goal of having a dry place to sleep before the sun sets somehow brings about harmony.

I have been guilty of giving my boys busy work just to keep them busy. They pick up on that in two seconds flat and the apathy is palpable. Kids are no different than adults in this regard it seems. Show me an employee who doesn’t feel their work is important and I’ll show you an employee going through the motions. I used to think my kids didn’t like to do work but now I realize they actually enjoy it if there is some meaningful purpose to it. It has to be work worth doing, and the jobs around camp are just that.

“I LOOK AT PHOTOGRAPHS FROM SOME OF THESE TRIPS AND ALL I SEE ARE SMILING FACES. RECOUNTING HOW THE BOYS HAVE BEHAVED DURING OUR MANY CAMPING TRIPS, I BELIEVE I HAVE ISOLATED THE ASPECTS OF A CAMPOUT THAT ARE THE MOST APPEALING.”

Let the Good Times Roll

When Caleb and Jake invite a friend for a traditional sleepover, the primary entertainment is a movie or a video game. While camping, however, it’s running around with flashlights and telling stories. It’s never a quiet affair. These well-be-haved youngsters quickly become feral when set loose in the woods.

The typical campout goes something like this…Once camp is set up the boys normally head off for lots of laughing and yelling and running through the trees. We eat our food off of pointy sticks and if marshmallows are involved, the boys usually end up with leaves and grass stuck to their hands and faces. When the fire begins to burn down, I herd them into their tent and the boys transition to what sounds like a mixed martial arts tournament. I call for “lights out” from my adjacent tent. Then come whispers and laughing as the boys climb into their sleeping bags. I fall asleep to the sounds of boys being boys.

This release of so much kinetic energy would never be allowed indoors. That’s one of the great things about camping. It’s a time to be crazy. It’s a real shame so much of society today tries to tamp down the joyful energy our kids have inside. They’ll be plenty of time for that when they’re responsible grownups.

Your child may not be into camping and that’s alright, but by highlighting our struggles, I hope to encourage you to pinpoint what motivates your own son or daughter. Then spend time with them doing something—anything—outside. 1) Good friends, 2) Meaningful tasks and 3) Lots of fun. These are the keys. Take the time to learn more about your kids and enjoy every moment you have together. It doesn’t matter if you’re camping or just going for groceries. What matters is spending time together.

Camping trips with my sons have served as both bonding and learning experiences. While it’s hard to admit I’m no longer my sons’ best friend, it’s amazing to watch them develop new friendships and strengthen bonds that will last for years to come. I now understand that it’s less than ideal parenting to give my boys work just so they’ll have something to do.

“I DON’T BOTHER TELLING THEM ALL THIS FUN IS ACTUALLY BUILDING THEIR CONFIDENCE AND TEACHING THEM RESPONSIBILITY.”

I am more intentional about giving them meaningful tasks that help them understand their significant role in our family. And finally, it’s important for me to remember that sometimes we need to let our children act like children. They need to have fun and make noise and be messy. In other words, sometimes we all need to lighten up.

Trying to teach my sons that there’s more to life than electronics has reminded me that there’s more to my sons than their fascination with electronics. And I’m a little better of a father because of it.

Looking back, I realize it wasn’t the comic books or video games that made my trips to town with Mom so special. She substituted grocery shopping for camping, but at the end of the day the result was the same. Time together.